Something Short of Honorable
by Vixen2004
Summary: Ashe and Balthier are having conjugal relations. Basch is irate, Fran is nonplussed, and Vaan is simply curious. So is Penelo, but she has too much dignity to admit it. Ashe x Balthier (obviously) and also the not so obviously: Fran x Basch. (Vaan x Penelo is a given).


**Something Short of Honorable**

 _Ashe and Balthier are having conjugal relations. Basch is irate, Fran is nonplussed, and Vaan is simply curious. So is Penelo, but she has too much dignity to admit it. Ashe x Balthier (obviously), and also the not so obvious: Fran x Basch. (Vaan x Penelo is a given)._

Implied sexual relations. Sometimes mildly described. It's basically a one shot talking _around_ the fact our favorite princess and sky pirate are being intimate, not an explicit recounting of the conjugal deed. Still, it's there. But it's funny as hell. (Or so I like to believe, given I am placing this under comedy).

 **o-o-o-o**

It began with eye sex, as Vaan so readily termed it, during a particular heated battle between our besotted crew and a rather unsightly flan.

Penelo was too busy fighting for her life/healing Vaan's to take notice, but Fran was aware of such proceedings, though she did not comment upon it with the same vigor that was so characteristic of the youngest member of their group. (It should be noted that Vaan is, in fact, three months younger than his blonde counterpart). She had been around Balthier long enough to know when he wanted something, and it had been painfully obvious for a while now that what he wanted was standing right in front of him. The man had a tendency to lust after things that he could never, or, rather, _should_ never, have – one can draw a corollary to that and his father's obsession with nethecite, if one so chose – but Fran knew better than to do such things, so she did as she always does and kept her thoughts to herself.

Basch seemed to be under the impression he was keeping his thoughts to himself, too, but his face was far too transparent, and Fran knew he saw the same thing they all saw – excluding the ever battle diligent Penelo – and was none the happier for it. He was in no position to tell the queen-to-be who and who she could not have relations with, but it was obvious he did not approve of whatever was starting to happen on the Ozmone Plain.

Fran felt somewhat in the same boat, for it was not her place, either, to tell her partner whom he could and could not be intimate with, but since she was viera she took it upon herself to comment on it anyway. Only she waited until after the fact, for she knew it would do no good before. Still, she wanted some credit from her lifelong partner for knowing a good (or bad) thing when she saw it, if only to lord it over him at some later date, yet to be specified. She felt that, in their working relationship, she held this much right.

 **o-o-o-o**

Ashe claimed she was sweaty and needed a shower. Balthier wordlessly followed suit and began preparations for the same. Fran sat in the cockpit with Basch, only she was at home while he was not. The orphan duo, bless their souls, thought they were being discreet in their adamant declarations of "we are really, really tired" and therefore made ready for bed post haste. Fran knew it was because their quarters were situated next to Ashe's, and Vaan (at the very least) was probably hoping to eaves drop and learn something new.

She hadn't yet figured Penelo out. Rare that someone could manage to remain a mystery to such a seasoned and attuned warrior. It lent the girl in question a certain appeal. Fran had ascertained that Penelo was honorable and good, and therefore approved of the comradery, if not made a mental note to further seek a stronger relationship with the young woman in the future.

"What do you make of this?" Basch says, staring soberly at the metal grating of the Strahl.

"What is there to make?"

Basch's face goes through an odd assortment of frowns before it settles on a particularly brood worthy grimace. He then proceeds to needlessly fidget with his boot laces.

"He's shadowing her. Surely they don't both require a shower, Balthier took his this morning."

"Noticed that, did you?"

"Of course. It is my duty to notice everything. I am a knight of Dalmasca."

Fran smiles in an attempt to put Basch at ease. He was not known to throw around his credentials without due cause. Knights of Dalmasca also strove to be humble, last she checked.

"Nothing of note will transpire in the shower," she assures him.

Balthier was never one to expend effort when he did not have to. If there was going to be an intimate relationship this evening, it would not be had standing up when it could be had lying down. Of this she was certain.

 **o-o-o-o**

As usual, Fran was right.

Basch had taken up pacing to calm his nerves. A knight with no foe to confront made for an interesting spectacle indeed. Words were shared between the conjugal couple in question, and Fran pitied the man. Thanks to her viera hearing, she caught every highly flirtatious expression, while her comrade for the evening did not – though he desperately wanted to.

Basch was too proud of a man to stoop to Vaan's level of barely unabashed eves dropping (if the two children were so tired, why did she hear them still talking this late into the night?) but he could not hide the inner turmoil he was trying to bludgeon into submission.

A man too authentic to lie, Fran thought, was a true man indeed.

Let Balthier have his bed play in the galley. She was content to settle for a decent conversation in the cockpit. To each his own, she presumes.

 **o-o-o-o**

"I beg your pardon, miss, I didn't mean to lunge so forcefully."

Ashe, even though she is currently pinned against the mattress of the captain, still finds it within herself to act dignified, or, rather, undignified, at Balthier's painful politeness. She may clandestinely enjoy such chivalry, but she adamantly refuses to show it.

"You beg my pardon?" She actually resists the urge to scoff. "Balthier, we're – " she was going to say something vulgar, but thought such rapport unbecoming of a future monarch, " – we're _coupling_ , for goodness sake, not having tea."

"So you like tea?"

"Balthier, please. I do not endeavor to actually form a relation with you. Let's just make haste and get this over with, shall we?"

"My mistake, then. Apologies. I rescind my previous remark and beg your pardon for begging your pardon."

It appears that even engaging the man's mouth was a futile course of action in an attempt to get it to stop moving.

"You are insufferable at times, are you aware of this?"

"I hadn't heard." Ashe knees Balthier in the side of his rather nicely sculpted torso as he tries to gain leverage despite his current position. He thus provides Ashe with another one of his alleged forceful lunges and continues the conversation at hand. "But would you have me any other way?"

Ashe, refusing to show just how much she appreciated his former action, grits her teeth, waits a beat, and simply replies, "At the moment, no. Other times, perhaps."

Balthier smirks. He is accustomed to reading body language.

"You wound me. Usually I am perceived without fault."

"By yourself, you mean."

"Not so. I believe sometimes even Penelo shares my views."

Ashe momentarily wonders why they are even entertaining the notion of talking about Penelo while in the bedroom, but ultimately decides she's too far gone to care. Balthier is beyond comprehension. It only figures that his recreational activities would follow suit and be equally as incomprehensible.

Who would think one would insist on _talking_ this much during such a nonverbal activity?

No matter, she'd play along – if only to terminate the discussion and get on with things.

"Have you actually taken the initiative to ask her? You may be misreading the situation entirely."

Balthier smiles as he thinks of a response – fortunately he can multitask and continues with said lunging.

"That would imply that I do, indeed, have faults."

"Allow me to assure you that you do."

"You seem to be enjoying yourself at the moment." Here he pauses to assess the situation. This was going to me remarkably more difficult if she refused to enjoy herself for once. Ashelia did tend to make matters more trying. No matter, he enjoyed a challenge. "Unless you care to enlighten me and state otherwise."

He punctuates his last statement with another forceful lunge.

 **o-o-o-o**

Vaan, never one to be deterred by preordained social norms or a general appreciation for privacy, tries not to laugh as he presses his ear against the metal wall.

"By the sounds of things, our resident sky pirate is busying pumping away at our future monarchy like a newfound piston."

Penelo is on the other side of the room, trying her very best not to do what her best friend is doing and is very pointedly staring at the ceiling. "You're proud of that comparison, aren't you?"

Vaan weighs the pros and cons to admitting to such and ultimately decides to forgo a nonchalant façade. He simply shrugs. "What gave it away?"

"The smirk on your face, for one."

And here he thought he was being so nonplussed.

"Hey, Penny, want to listen in?"

Penelo likes to think she has too much dignity to say yes, but in reality she is just as curious as her partner is. Though her trepidation will never allow her to admit it, she prefers to think of such as class, and politely refrains from comment.

Vaan, on the other hand, could not care less about class, or his reputation – at least not when curiosity has the opportunity to take precedence – and continues to press for an answer.

"We could take notes?"

"Not helping your cause, Vaan."

"Well, I'm going to do it. I can relay the comments if you want."

" … No need, I can hear just fine from here."

 **o-o-o-o**

Basch's footfalls are beginning to wane on Fran's ears, but she does not see any reason to cause him further grief, so she remains silent.

"This is not dignified," Basch says in a stern voice, making yet another round of the cabin. He has stalked the perimeter several times over, yet Fran knows it will never be enough.

"It is consensual, is it not?"

Basch balks, for having a viera comment about sexuality is practically unheard of. Perhaps she's been spending too much time hanging around smugglers and the like.

"Would you align yourself with a partner who would engage in something that is not?"

"Of course not. You forget yourself."

"If only. I wish to forget this entire night."

He pauses at this last remark, mauls over the verbal transaction in his mind, and finally comes back with: "I'm sorry, that was out of line. I did not mean to imply Balthier would steal a woman's virtue against her will. Such an act is disgraceful, and I apologize for insinuating as much."

Fran is not used to hearing the words _I'm sorry_ very often. She works with Balthier, after all. She finds that a man willing to acknowledge his short comings, especially in such an upfront manner, quite appealing.

Fran inclines her head to show she accepts such an apology.

Basch responds in kind and resumes his previous activity of stalking the perimeter. He momentarily ponders the merit of ingesting alcohol – enough to initiate a hangover, and therefore a consequential loss of recollection. One can but hope such events won't repeat themselves. And maybe with enough artificial enhancement, one can forget such ever took place to begin with.

Fran, however, sees no fault in this joining of bodies. It is how the humes manage to perpetuate their species, is it not? Though she doubts Ashe is currently trying to create an heir. At this point, anyway. And there might be some question as to whether or not it would be suitable for Balthier, of all people, to sire such off spring. She, for one, always found Basch more appropriate for such occasions. Though she supposes that, under a certain light, her partner does have the potential to look aesthetically pleasing.

Like when the lights are dimmed. Substantially.

Basch, however, if one could ignore the current reddened state of his visage, somehow managed to look good in all forms of light. She considers telling him of this phenomenon but thinks better of it. He does not look to be in the mood to reciprocate such a thing in a favorable manner. And, as Balthier has so astutely taught her, timing, darling, is everything.

 **o-o-o-o**

"So, like, Ashe just moaned."

"I didn't hear it."

"Oh, stop it Penelo. I know you did."

"Well, I'm choosing not to listen. Something you are making much harder to do, by the way."

"I didn't think Ashe the type. Huh."

Vaan seems to muse over this newfound intel more than Penelo finds comfortable.

"You've thought about Ashe moaning before?"

"Bemoaning, more likely. She's always got something to say about, well, something."

"Nice, Vaan."

"I'm not wrong, Pen. I'm not." He pauses, gives the wall another listen, and returns to the one sided conversation he is forcing Penelo to be an unwilling participant in. "I just thought she would be more articulate in such a situation as this. That's all."

"More articulate?" Penelo repeats, finally exasperated. Vaan can only be Vaan for so long before one grows wary of his running audio commentary. "Vaan, she's in the middle of having intimate relations – do you expect her to give a fully composed narrative? Monologues are for ceremonies, not conjugation!"

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. She's had a speech's worth to say concerning every other matter and opinion."

Penelo cannot resist a smirk, for her best friend always manages to elicit humor from her, even if she is initially reluctant to give it.

"Give her time. I'm sure she'll have a well thought out opinion concerning the matter tomorrow."

 **o-o-o-o**

Balthier is too proud to ask if he was successful in his ministrations, but readily assumes he was.

"You seem pleased with yourself," Ashe notes, trying to go for her usual condescending pitch but finding it hard to maintain such a regal façade in the bedroom.

"You seemed pleased as well, a mere moment ago."

"I am not going to bolster your ego, if that's what you're waiting for."

"Quite the contrary, darling. I was assuming you'd formulate an itemized receipt in which all my short comings were thoroughly analyzed and proceed to tell me how I could perform better."

Ashe, embarrassed that she let it get this far, actually blushes and hits her one night lover with a pillow in response.

"Such juvenile proclivities, Princess. Next you'll be eyeing up Vaan, if I'm not mistaken."

"I take offense to that."

 **o-o-o-o**

"Hey! I take offense to that!"

Penelo looks at Vaan inquisitively.

"Why? What'd she say?"

"… I thought you weren't interested."

"I'm not." Dammit, Vaan caught her in a spot. Again. Curse him for unwittingly knowing her so well. "Not really."

Vaan, knowing her like he does, goes ahead and foretells what he heard because he already knows she wants to know more than she will admit.

"Balthier accused Ashe of being juvenile for some reason and then said that she may go so far as to, like, pursue me?"

Penelo doesn't know why he adds a lilt to his voice at the end of this statement, therefore transforming it into an ungainly question to which she has no gainly answer.

"Would you want her to?"

Vaan thinks before answering this query. It seems loaded. His assessment is correct. For once.

"Uh. That depends. I guess. Maybe. I dunno – I don't actually like her that much, to be perfectly honest."

Penelo grins and is glad for the momentary cover of darkness. Vaan doesn't need to know how pleased such an honest response has made her.

 **o-o-o-o**

"He will honor her virtue in the future, won't he?"

Fran cannot tell if Basch is truly asking the question in search of an answer, or is merely talking out loud to distract his addled mind.

"How do you mean?"

"I trust he possesses enough integrity to keep whatever happens throughout the course of this night to himself."

"Has he given you reason to think otherwise?"

"Many," Basch admits, the speed with which he is pacing the length of the Strahl intensifying in tandem.

"He would not exploit the heart of a woman for personal gain."

"Are you certain of this?"

"You think me capable of a lie?"

"No, Fran, I do not. Forgive my audacity. I am not myself this evening."

Fran debates the merits of showing signs of outward amusement.

"… I had not noticed."

No matter. Basch is too busy waring a rut in the floor to take heed.

 **o-o-o-o**

"I think Ashe just finished her ascent to nirvana."

"I swear to all that is holy, Vaan, where do you come up with this stuff?"

"Poorly penned five gil romance pamphlets, discovered at the taverns," he admits, though without the usual embarrassment that accompanies an admission of such grave magnitude. "I can get you some if you'd like. But you'd have to pay me back. I'm kind running short on gil as of late."

"Probably because you're spending it all on pamphlets that take you to nirvana."

"The characters reach nirvana, I don't. I just quote what I read. I thought that line memorable."

"Oh, it was memorable alright. I can assure you I will never forget it."

"I'll hold you to that, Pen. I will. When we're ninety nine and rotting away in a senile facility somewhere looking for our misplaced dentures, I'm going to ask you about ascending to nirvana. Just you wait."

Penelo doesn't doubt him for a second, but also knows there's no need to verbally clarify such things.

 **o-o-o-o**

"Well, Princess, where to now?"

Ashe doesn't know what Balthier is currently implying, for he is always implying something.

"I do not understand what you mean."

"Are you staying here for the night or returning to your personal quarters for the duration of the evening?"

"Balthier," she all but hisses. "People may _see_."

"Oh, Princess – you really don't think they already heard?"

She blushes at this. Funny, because she always thought blushing below her.

"Not used to one night stands, are we, I take it?"

"No, Mister Bunansa, I am not. I am going to be Queen. This was a mistake, and I shall not permit such to ever be repeated in the near future."

"Ah, but the distant future, perhaps?"

The incorrigible sky pirate never knew when to leave well enough alone.

"I was taken by the moment," she explains in defense to an accusation Balthier never verbally made. "I did not think things through."

"Those tend to be the best moments," Balthier admits. Smiling.

"I have reputation to consider. Mind your tongue."

"Oh, I did. You seemed to enjoy it quite thoroughly."

Ashe huffs something of consequence, though Balthier doesn't catch it, and she stands up abruptly, readying herself for a hasty, if not histrionic, departure.

"I thought you were against going anywhere for the remainder of the evening."

"I … I am."

She suddenly realizes the error of her ways and begrudgingly gets back into bed.

Balthier may be an opportunist, but he is also, before all else – or perhaps in spite of all else – a gentleman, so he gallantly offers to take up temporary residency on the floor.

"I doubt that would help remedy matters any."

"I was trying to put you more at ease, your Highness. You seem a might uncomfortable in light of the current proceedings."

"That's because I _am_."

"Well, if you'd care to discuss such matters, I don't intend on going anywhere. Especially not after you expressly prohibited it."

"I did not prohibit anything. I just chose to not pursue such a course of action myself. This is your room, besides."

"True enough."

This was not, Balthier will admit, the post coital discussion he had in mind – but one he figures will stand out for its novelty, regardless.

"You don't have to actually situate yourself on the floor," Ashe finally says, watching Balthier commence his ascent from the covers. "The deed is done. Where you sleep for the rest of the night won't change anything."

He returns to bed, still smirking - the espers damn him - and lays back with the confidence only a professional smuggler can manage to acquire.

"In that case, Highness, may I suggest that we engage in such activities again?"

 **o-o-o-o**

"Now what's going on?"

"I thought you didn't care, Penelo."

"I don't. But you do. So therefore I do, by proxy."

"By proxy? Pen, stop trying to steal Balthier's turn of phrase. We're not sky pirates yet, you can't do that."

"I think I just did."

It was a juvenile taunt, but they were among the most juvenile of the group, so Penelo decides not to feel bad when resorting to such childish banter.

"I'd call you something like insufferable, but then I'd sound like Ashe, and we can't have that."

"Perish the thought."

"Please, Penelo – I only perish what I want. If you think – wait, _what_?"

Penelo's head pops up in a silent inquiry.

"Again," Vaan dead pans. "She's moaning. Again."

"His stamina is impressive," the orphan girl notes, and giggles when Vaan graces her with the unhinged display of his lower jaw.

 **o-o-o-o**

" _Again_?"

"It would seem that way, yes."

Basch was running out of places to pace.

"Someone should put their foot down."

"… Why?"

"Because." The man flounders for a reason of note. "Because. Such is simply not done. Undignified, even."

"Take heed, this is my partner you're talking about."

"And it is my _Queen_ ," he retaliates forcefully.

"Sit, Sir Knight. She is your Queen and therefore you are but her royal subject. How she so chooses to spend her spare time is not of your concern. I assure you that neither her life, nor the future of Dalmasca's, are in any danger."

"This could have unforeseen consequences. What if this … _relationship_ … escalates further? This could prove most distracting once she regains her throne."

"Trust in me, Sir Basch, Balthier only practices fidelity when he sees fit."

Basch reddens at the implication.

"Oh, so he would not be loyal to her Majesty, should she falter in logical reasoning and choose to consider him more than an ally?"

Fran actually fights the urge to migrate her hands to her forehead, a gesture she has seen Penelo perform one too many times throughout the course of their venture, especially when conversing with Vaan.

"Basch, do you or do you not want my partner to remain loyal?"

"That … that depends on his motives."

"Which we will never ascertain without asking him."

"I doubt we would get a straightforward answer regardless."

"Oh, he will answer. You just have to learn how to listen."

Basch sits down with an emphasis that cannot be ignored. Pacing, it seems, has lost its novelty.

"If he were a straight forward man – a man of virtue and honor – and spoke his mind like one should, we would not have to rally together to decipher all of his various innuendos."

"I need not rally with anyone. I can decipher them alone, thank you very much."

Basch lets his head hang low.

"My mistake, ma'am. I once again forgot my place. It was not my intent to question your ability to converse with your partner."

"He is more of a group ally at the moment, I think. No offense taken."

"Well, he does not _act_ like a group ally."

Fran wonders how she can mollify the ailing captain. She distantly remembers Balthier smuggling a particular rare brand of Rozarrian wine during one of their previous ventures, and wonders if the sharing of such a beverage will alleviate the wayward guilt Basch was so intent on feeling. Being viera, she herself could not get drunk – not easily, at least – but she has noticed that humes tend to calm down by a small modicum once they start ingesting various alcoholic substances.

"May I suggest something?"

Basch is fervently rubbing his temples. Fran can hear a conjugal cacophony beginning, but given Basch's hampered sense of hume hearing, it probably sounded like nothing more than muted whispers of pleasure at this point.

"Have you devised a therapeutic course of action?"

"Possibly."

"Then by all means, please, do share."

Fran sighs as she stands up from her chair. She saunters past Basch without much ceremony – for it really is the only way her vieran heels will allow her to walk – and procures a bottle of claret from a hidden compartment under the driver's seat.

"Surely you jest."

"It is not for them, Sir Knight. I intend it for you."

Basch balks initially, but soon warms to the idea once Fran begins pouring.

 **o-o-o-o**

"You think this will be us someday?" Vaan asks, no longer needing to press his ear against the wall to hear exactly what it is going on. Penelo can hear just fine all the way across the room. And to think, she was going to actually try and get some sleep tonight.

"Excuse me?"

"No, no – I mean, like, as sky pirates. Me being the ultimate lady's man and you holding down the fort while I practice my manly wiles on all the unsuspecting ingénues of Ivalice?"

There was so much wrong with that proposition that Penelo scarcely knows where to start complaining.

"You think Ashe an ingénue?"

"Not really. But for the sake of this conversation, let's pretend she is."

"If you intend to be a lady's man, you can start by not referring to future ruling ladies as mere ingénues. Espers, Vaan, where did you even learn that word?"

"Where do you think?"

They both say _Balthier_ in unison and giggle in the aftermath.

"But who was he using the word in reference too?" Penelo wonders out loud.

Vaan pauses, as if debating whether or not to be honest with his best friend. But they're soul mates, so how could he be anything but?

"Um, I actually think it was in reference to you."

Penelo feels her left eye twitch in the darkness.

"Oh, just you wait. One of these days I'll show him."

Vaan, because he is the epitome of tacklessness, bluntly asks: "How?"

"I … I haven't figured that out yet."

Vaan tries to be a good friend and supply her with an idea or two, but comes up blank. Not because he thinks Penelo is unqualified, but Balthier has proven to be very hard to impress. Vaan would know. He tries it every day.

"Just don't do with him what Ashe is doing with him, please. I don't think I could sit by and quietly listen to that."

"Vaan, you never quietly listen to anything."

"I'm being serious, Pen. Don't."

"You were the one who was just suggesting I – oh, how did you say it? – hold down the fort while you practice _your_ manly wiles on unsuspecting ingénues – "

"Dammit Penelo, I wasn't being _serious_."

Odd for Vaan to resort to profanity. At least when conversing with Penelo. Sometimes he tried it on for size in front of Basch, but it never got him anywhere because, well really, a knight of Dalmasca has heard much worse oaths uttered on the battlefield than the things a boy eighteen years of age could produce over the course of several months.

"Well then," she finally surmises in the wake of his minute outburst. "I suppose it's settled than. I shall refrain from sleeping with Balthier."

"Thank you," Vaan says pointedly, and rolls over to cocoon himself in the blankets. A down feather pillow somehow managed to gain purchase on his head.

"Heard enough?" Penelo ventures.

"It got weird," is his response. "Ashe just keeps beseeching all of her summons and Balthier's primary mode of communication seems to be one endless taunt. It makes for boring eves dropping after the first thirty minutes."

"You're the one who wanted to do it."

"Yeah, well, I did and have and now I'm done. Good night."

"… Good luck," is all Penelo manages to say concerning her friend's future attempts at sleep.

Ashe had yet to metaphorically summon Ultima in her throes of ecstasy – she was currently calling out, who was it, Hashmal? – so Penelo knew slumber was still a long way off.

… Funny how easy it was to make Vaan jealous.

 **o-o-o-o**

"Is she … is she casting a summons?"

Basch is on his forth glass. The first three went down easy. Too easy. Fran has contemplated just handing him the bottle.

"I have heard stranger things emanate from that bed chamber."

"Of this I have no doubt."

Ashe seemed to be petitioning her current agglomeration of tamed espers on an escalating scale according to power and time of acquisition, which Fran could only assume correlated to how far along they were in their epic quest to obtain climax, so she merely shrugged one shoulder and watched the nervous twitch in her companion's eye cease after downing was what left in his glass.

"Does his bed sport involve pantomime of battle?"

"I know not of what his bed sport entails." Fran pauses, and chooses her next words carefully, so as not to further upset Basch and his rabid protectiveness of Her Future Royal Highness. "I think Ashe is the one captaining this round."

Basch's face contorts in dismay.

Ah. Not diplomatic enough.

"Enough with these accursed euphemisms. The two of you never cease."

Fran smirks and could not find the wherewithal to resist. "Well, it does appear as though she is the one riding his ship."

And oh, she shouldn't have, but she did, because she had grown up with two sisters after all – a snarky comment could not be ignored all the time.

Basch splutters claret out of his nose and quickly tries to recover.

"We are _all_ riding his ship, I'll have you know!"

Fran quirks an eyebrow.

"Not like that!"

A flustered Basch was more amusing than she initially thought. And she had initially thought it would be highly amusing. She is happy she was correct, but had no idea how correct she actually was. Given that current line of thought, however, did such a theory technically make her initially _incorrect_?

"I suggest you drink more, if only to make up for what you have spilled."

Basch looks down at his tunic and exhales deeply.

"I know what you are trying to do, Fran. Don't think I don't."

"And yet you do it all the same."

He answers her with silence and continues to imbibe another drink.

 **o-o-o-o**

"You know, I may not be an esper, but you can call out my name, all the same."

"And embolden your ego? I think not," Ashe pants.

"You are in the process of emboldening a great many things."

"Do be quiet and proceed with what you were originally doing."

"Is that your queenly way of begging me not to stop?"

"No, Balthier," Ashe says, propping herself up on her elbows to gain some leverage so she can properly look down her nose. "I was giving you an order. As your Queen."

And dammit if Balthier did not feel emboldened just a little bit more.

 **o-o-o-o**

"Orders, in the bedroom?" Penelo mutters to herself. "Vaan, are you getting this?"

But Vaan is snoring, his steady breath further attesting to the fact that he has, indeed, had his fill for the evening. Which leaves Penelo, alone, and at the mercy of her sovereign.

Gods, the way dreams go.

 **o-o-o-o**

"What if he is eyeing for political gain?"

"I suggest you stop over thinking this."

Basch, now no longer on glasses but rather half a bottle in, is gesticulating emphatically with his free hand while the other nurses the partially depleted bottle.

"True enough. The man does attest to hating politics. But still, do you think we can trust the word of a sky pirate?"

Fran levels Basch with a look.

"Ah, sorry, sorry – apologies, once again."

Fran notes that he seems to be doing a lot of that tonight. There would be nothing to gain from pointing it out, however, so she doesn't.

Though it may make the man even more abashed, and that alone gave the prospect some merit.

"Does he often relegate you to the cockpit when he has his way with women?"

Fran considers answering this at length, but that is not how she typically answers anything. Though if she were to do so, Basch would make for the most avid listener, if only out of respect. She wonders if she should test this theory out, but considering Ashe had now taken out to calling upon Zalera, she doesn't know if they'd have the time.

"Who says it's always woman?"

Basch had the ability to make a very interesting, if not estranged, noise emanate from the back of his throat when shocked. She assumes not much still manages to elicit such a reaction after his thirty some odd years of living a less than ideal life.

"I jest," she finally offers by way of condolence, for Balthier, if no one else. Even if he did happen to fancy the company of both genders, he would probably not want such information spread around like common gossip. Testosterone and pride and all that. Fran wouldn't care one way or another. Basch was having more trouble grasping the concept.

"I fear I did not give you due credit when we first met," Basch says, swirling the remnants of liquid around the green tinted bottle.

"Oh?"

"I found you taciturn and aloof, but this evening you have kept me company – regardless of my many off color comments."

"Please," Fran breathes, almost going so far as to roll her eyes. "I live with a sky pirate. I am a sky pirate. I deal with sky pirates. Off color comments are the language of my people."

"… Really? I assumed that was Vieran."

Basch's sad attempt at a joke does not garner the laughs – or the mere smirk – he was hoping for.

"Should I apologize again?"

Fran lets him wait in suspense for a moment, if only because she can.

"No," she finally replies. "No, I actually found that amusing."

Basch nods his assent, wary of letting anything else escape his mouth this evening.

"Very well then. Glad I could be of service."

 **o-o-o-o**

Balthier thought Ultima would be the final plea, but it was actually Zodiark – which took him by surprise, for he thought the acquisition of such an esper was only fodder for idle chatter, not an actual battle prospect – but perhaps Ashe was just using the scion's name instead of his own so as not to bolster said man's already generous ego.

He couldn't really shout out anything to top that – shouting was never his style, anyway – so he settled for a pleasurable, if non-committal, grunt and allowed himself to rest for a moment's reprieve.

"Get off of me," Ashe says hastily. "I can scarcely breathe."

"And yet you don corsets."

Nevertheless, he rolls off obligingly.

"Well then, Princess, are we going to sleep now, or have you yet to be adequately satisfied?"

"You can't possibly be serious."

"There's one way to find out."

"We have battles to fight tomorrow, Balthier, we can't do this all night."

"Why ever not?"

"Human anatomy, for one!"

Balthier may possess a greater stamina than most, but every man has his limits. This was not something Ashe was willing to debate, for she already knew the sky pirate would never admit to having a limit of any kind, especially in the bed room, and proving him wrong in that regard would require too much effort on her part. Honestly.

"Tomorrow night, then, after the battles?"

"Tch!" Ashe makes her patented sound of annoyance and rolls over to further illustrate her future intent.

"I notice that was not a direct decline. My offer still stands."

"In five minutes it will be the only thing that still stands."

"Touché, madam. Touché."

 **o-o-o-o**

"Zodiark?" Fran muses to herself.

Basch looks at her questioningly. Humes really do have a pitiful sense of hearing. Or perhaps just the inebriated ones. Vaan and Penelo seemed to have heard everything just fine. Perhaps Captain Basch was decidedly not listening.

"Do you wish to talk about … the acquisition of another esper? I do not know if the kids can handle another battle of such magnitude. At least give them some time to recover. Gods know they probably didn't get any sleep tonight."

"I suppose we will find out in the morning."

Basch grimaces at the thought – facing his liege after tonight was a feat he forgot he would have to endure.

"I care little for what happens in the morning," Basch attempts to lie. It is completely and utterly unconvincing, but Fran allows it to go without comment. "But what should we do if this becomes habit?"

"Tomorrow night, you mean to imply."

"In a manner of speaking."

"That, too, will depend on what happens in the morning, I would think."

Basch cannot argue with Fran, because Fran is ultimately right.

 **o-o-o-o**

"Fran, really, you should try some of this."

The night has finally gone quiet, Fran's ears picking up the sonorous sounds of labored breathing from all four of the six party members. All that remain awake are herself and Sir Basch. She concludes he is not of sober mind when, upon reaching for the bottle of claret he was so readily offering, she finds that it is completely replete of liquid entirely. Seeing no need to state something so obvious, she does not.

"Why?"

"This rum Mister Bunansa keeps in storage – the one you so kindly directed me to – it's quite refreshing."

"I know this," she responds. "Why do you think I recommended it?"

"Ah, yes, true. True enough."

Basch is still ill at ease and unsure how to conduct himself. As a body guard, he can only protect his queen from so much – herself not among them. Some of her choices, no matter how ill-conceived he believes them to be, simply cannot be forestalled.

"I saw this coming, I'll have you know. I saw this coming a mile away."

"Funny," Fran says, dead pan. "I _heard_ them coming."

"What was that? Oh, yes, a joke – how clever. Forgive me if I am not of a more merry disposition. This entire evening has been rather awkward."

"I am used to such proceedings."

"Exactly," Basch grouses. "He must do this with many women. I find such common familiarity something short of honorable."

"I find it distinctly human," the viera responds.

"Well. Yes. That, too, I suppose."

Basch wonders if asking a viera where other viera come from, while they are all forced to sit here and wait until Balthier's exhausts his libido and has finished fornicating with her royal majesty, would constitute as small talk, given the circumstances.

"Do viera engage in similar activities?"

In hindsight, that was a very unknightly thing to say. He wishes he could take it back, but the drink has loosened his tongue. He is no light weight, but Balthier is no cheapskate when it comes to alcoholic beverages. Especially ones he keeps locked away in secret storage compartments that only Fran knows about.

"Would you like to find out?"

Basch doesn't know what to say to this, for whatever response he thought he was going to hear it was decidedly not that, and promptly falls on the floor. Whether it is due to the booze or the viera, none will ever be certain. Fran simply smirks in the aftermath.

 **Author's Note**

Here's to the HD Remake of Zodiac Age!

Obviously, I have yet to play it, and therefore have not been engrossed in actual gameplay for quite some time, seeing as though I am saving it all for July, when the PS4 Version is released. I did make good use of my collector's strategy guide, but please forgive minor over sight in canon related dealings, should I have misnamed some location or esper or another.

This works nicely as a one shot, but the plot bunnies in my head give me pause, and make me wonder if this story should be liable for updates. They whisper things like: what if Fran and Basch's relationship continues to develop – a thing I personally have never explored because I was too busy drooling over Balthier, and therefore reading stories regarding whether or not the sky pirate should be paired up with the vieran or the princess. It could also end up being a two parter, or something akin to a three part trilogy if I feel so compelled to map out a plot that requires a triplicate installment. I am curious as to how the fabled morning after would play out, and whether or not Ashe should be held responsible for the party's acquisition of Zodiark. Regardless, leave a comment and feel free to let me know what you think! I am open to suggestions! I find this fandom comprised of so many talented individuals I would love nothing more than to start a dialogue!


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